I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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