I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if only i could text you this smell
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
