I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I still have a little drunk in my system
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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