you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
