Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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