if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
