why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
