I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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