I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
