so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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