you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
