I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
