"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
