well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
