fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We're too hungover to prance.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
