My liver just broke up with me...
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
