it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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