i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
