Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
