Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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