fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he fucked my hip out of place.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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