Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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