Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
