so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
