i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
