I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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