Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
