you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
