singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There r osticjed everywhere
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
