Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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