That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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