I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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