Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
