she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Bring me that man meat
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
