There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Nicole vs. Life
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
