Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
