All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
