ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I love you. Go after that dick
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
