To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
