She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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