My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
