I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
