is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
