Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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