Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
