girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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