you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
