last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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