we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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