Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
